Hold onto your championship belts, folks! The WWE Draft is rolling into town like a showboat on steroids, and boy, does it have a lineup that could either spice things up or leave us yawning like we’ve just watched a marathon of paint drying.
First up, we’ve got the “WWE SmackDown” this Friday, flashing 30 wrestlers ready to strut their stuff across 20 draft picks. The headliners? The Bloodline, minus Jimmy Uso (is he hiding or just lost backstage?), but don’t get too excited — The Rock didn’t RSVP to this party. Also on the marquee are Alpha Academy and The OC, minus their star, AJ Styles, because apparently, he’s going solo tonight like a teen at prom.
Speaking of singles, AJ Styles finds himself in the solo spotlight, alongside wrestling heavyweights like Randy “The Viper” Orton and Seth Rollins, who, despite supposed time off for a post-WrestleMania honeymoon phase with Becky Lynch, can’t seem to stay away from the limelight. And let’s not overlook the ladies, with Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan ready to show the boys how it’s really done.
But wait, there’s more! Come Monday on “WWE Raw”, the draft turns into a buffet with 59 wrestlers up for grabs. But here’s the kicker — only 29 picks. Talk about being the last kid picked in dodgeball. This night is packed with tag teams and stables like Damage CTRL, who are reigning Women’s Tag Team Champs, and The Judgment Day, minus their queen bee, Rhea Ripley, who’s nursing an injury (probably from carrying the team on her back).
Amid the chaos, there are whispers of NXT stars getting called up to the big leagues, while some main roster talents might be taking a demotion… err, strategic retreat to NXT. And, of course, the injury bench is as full as ever with names like Charlotte Flair and Sonya Deville sitting this one out.
So, will this draft be the blockbuster shakeup we’ve been promised, or just another game of musical chairs where the music stops and nobody really moves? Stay tuned, because like a bad haircut, we’re all going to have to live with the results no matter what!