In a stunning twist that no scriptwriter could make up unless they were maybe sipping a bit too much of the good stuff, this Monday’s WWE “Raw” brought us the first round of the 2024 Queen of the Ring Tournament. And oh, what a circus it was!
First off, let’s talk about the bait-and-switch that left fans scratching their heads. Originally, we were all set to see Shayna Baszler throw down with Zelina Vega, but alas, that match got booted to a WWE Live Event faster than you can say “plot twist!” Same goes for the men’s side, where Kofi Kingston vs. Rey Mysterio got pushed to the weekend market like last season’s merch.
And just when you thought your brackets were safe, Dakota Kai drops a bombshell: Asuka’s injured. That’s right, Dakota’s stepping in to face off against the rookie sensation Lyra Valkyria, who’s apparently got more backing than a Kickstarter campaign in Silicon Valley, thanks to an endorsement from none other than WWE Women’s World Champion, Becky Lynch.
Speaking of backing, Natalya seemed poised for victory, paying homage to her late uncle, Owen Hart with a superplex that could’ve shaken the rafters—until IYO SKY escaped faster than a politician at a fundraiser. After dodging the Sharpshooter, SKY delivered a moonsault that secured her a spot in the next round. Better luck next time, Nattie!
And let’s not forget about Zoey Stark, who practically danced around Ivy Nile before sending her packing with the Z360. That’s right, folks, it looks like Zoey’s on a roll, and next up, she’s set to face Valkyria in what could either be a clash of titans or just another Tuesday.
In a nutshell, if WWE’s booking was any more chaotic, it’d be a congressional hearing. As we look ahead to the quarterfinals, one thing’s for sure: the only predictable thing about WWE is its unpredictability. Stay tuned, and keep your popcorn handy!