Scotland, the land of bagpipes and deep-fried everything, transformed into a rowdy WWE arena as fans belted out Cody Rhodes’ theme song louder than a pub on karaoke night. At the climax of Clash at the Castle, Rhodes stood victorious atop the steel steps, looking like a warrior from Braveheart but with better hair, blood on his tights, and the Undisputed WWE Championship gleaming in his hands.
In a match that could be described as “chaotic” if you’re into gross understatements, Rhodes and AJ Styles engaged in a fifty-minute brawl that felt longer than a queue for haggis on Burns Night. They battered each other senseless backstage, turning the arena into a playground of pain with tables, kendo sticks, belts, and steel chairs, proving once and for all that health and safety regulations are merely suggestions in WWE.
The turning point came after Styles locked Rhodes in an STF, causing the American Nightmare to pass out. However, since Rhodes didn’t mutter the fateful words “I quit” (probably because he was too busy having a nap), the match rolled on. Styles, never one to miss a chance for family drama, decided to have a chat with Rhodes’ mom at ringside. In true wrestling mom fashion, she responded with a series of slaps that would make any Scottish granny proud.
Back in the ring, Rhodes seized his opportunity for revenge, handcuffing Styles and giving him a steel chair beatdown that made medieval torture look like a spa day. With the threat of a steel step smash looming over him, Styles finally cracked and uttered “I quit” in a voice that can only be described as pure desperation.
But wait, there’s more! Post-match, Rhodes decided he wasn’t done with Styles, continuing the beatdown because why not? As he strutted up the ramp, title held high, he locked eyes with the new Tribal Chief, Solo Sikoa. Just when you thought things couldn’t get wilder, Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa ambushed Rhodes, only for Kevin Owens and the freshly-returned Randy Orton to storm in for the rescue.
With Money in the Bank approaching, it looks like Rhodes is gearing up to dive headfirst into Bloodline territory. Grab your popcorn, folks; the saga continues!