Now, folks, if there’s one thing we know about the world of WWE, it’s that sometimes reality just can’t resist throwing a steel chair at the script. Case in point: Seth “The Architect” Rollins, who might want to consider a new blueprint for staying in one piece. Fresh off his wild ride as the SummerSlam special guest referee for the Drew McIntyre vs. CM Punk brawl, Rollins got a VIP trip to Pain City on Monday Night Raw, courtesy of Bronson Reed. And by “VIP trip,” I mean Reed hit him with the Tsunami like it was the weather report for the next three weeks.
But here’s the kicker: Reed’s sudden interest in turning Rollins into a human pancake wasn’t just about setting up a future clash. No, no. It turns out Rollins was already nursing an injury, and this backstage beatdown was WWE’s clever way of covering up the fact that their former World Heavyweight Champion might be taking another sabbatical. Dave Meltzer, the man who knows more wrestling dirt than a sandlot full of kids, spilled the beans on Thursday’s “Wrestling Observer Radio.” According to Meltzer, Rollins’ injury isn’t catastrophic, but don’t start planning any comeback parties just yet—no word on when the “Kingslayer” will be slaying again.
Now, before we move on, let’s take a moment to appreciate Rollins’ current situation. The man spent months earlier this year sidelined with a torn meniscus, and now he’s potentially dealing with another setback. Seth, buddy, if this keeps up, you might want to consider bubble wrap as part of your ring gear.
But wait, there’s more! Monday Night Raw wasn’t done throwing its superstars under the injury bus. Poor Dakota Kai found herself on the wrong end of a backstage ambush, courtesy of Sonya Deville, Zoey Stark, and Shayna Baszler. This wasn’t just your regular beatdown either; these three went straight for Kai’s knee like they had a vendetta against kneecaps everywhere. And just like that, Kai was written off the show faster than you can say “Damage CTRL.”
Now, while the exact details of Kai’s injury remain as mysterious as Bray Wyatt’s cryptic promos, we do know she’s no stranger to knee issues. She was out for nine months last year with a torn ACL, but still managed to stick around as the manager for Damage CTRL, proving once again that the show must go on—even if it’s from a chair on the sidelines.
So, there you have it, folks. WWE’s latest injury cover-ups: the kind of drama you can’t script—unless you’re WWE, in which case, you’ll find a way. Here’s hoping Rollins and Kai both make speedy recoveries because, let’s be honest, WWE without their antics is like a pizza without toppings—still good, but missing that extra kick.