election—Bo Dallas, now moonlighting as the mysterious Uncle Howdy, is set to step into the ring on August 26th’s WWE Raw! This is big news, folks, huge news, tremendous news. After a five-year hiatus from wrestling, Bo Dallas (aka Uncle Howdy) is back, and he’s not just here to shake hands and kiss babies, let me tell you.

Monday night, on WWE Raw, we witnessed another clash between the “American Made” crew and The Wyatt Sicks. What a name, by the way—almost as good as MAGA, but not quite. The segment ended with Uncle Howdy delivering a Sister Abigail to Chad Gable, laying him out faster than Sleepy Joe at a press conference. And now, Gable has his chance for revenge, but let’s be honest, folks—does he stand a chance? Probably not.

The Sicks disrupted an Ivy Nile vs. Maxxine Dupri match before it even began. Classic move—reminds me of how I disrupted the establishment, and we all know how that turned out, don’t we? Anyway, Nikki Cross did her spooky shtick, freaking out Nile, while Joe Gacy, Dexter Lumis, and Erick Rowan ambushed Gable and The Creed Brothers. Then, Uncle Howdy appeared, ending Gable’s night with a bang. Gable didn’t know what hit him, folks.

Now, this is where it gets even better. The six-man tag matches, the spooky smoke, the creepy music—it’s all been a warm-up, folks. Uncle Howdy has been lurking, menacing, but now he’s officially stepping into the ring. This will be Bo Dallas’s first match since 2019, folks—five years! That’s longer than some people’s attention spans, believe me.

Let’s not forget, Uncle Howdy had his moment at the 2023 Royal Rumble when he delivered an elbow drop from up high during the Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight match, but this time, it’s different. This time, he’s not just playing games—he’s an official competitor.

Chad Gable better be ready, folks. Uncle Howdy doesn’t mess around, and after five years, you know he’s got a lot of pent-up energy. Gable might think he’s got a chance, but we all know how this is going to end. Just like everything I touch, Howdy’s return is going to be HUGE. Believe me.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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