Ladies and gentlemen, folks and wrestlers, this is BIG! YUGE! Brian Cage, “The Machine” himself, has done it again. At AEW WrestleDream’s Zero Hour, he didn’t just walk into the Tacoma Dome – oh no, he stormed in and took home the ROH World Television Championship! Let me tell you, it was tremendous, a fight of EPIC proportions. Believe me, people are talking about it everywhere, and they should be!
Now, Cage wasn’t up against just anybody. He faced Atlantis Jr., a superstar from CMLL, and let me tell you, Atlantis Jr. is fast. So fast, folks, it’s like trying to catch a chicken after it’s had too much coffee – all over the place! But Cage, Cage is a mountain. Atlantis Jr. tried everything. Tope Suicidas, Frog Splashes, you name it. He was throwing moves left and right, trying to put down the Machine. But Brian Cage? He eats Frog Splashes for breakfast, okay?
It was a classic David vs. Goliath matchup, though let’s be real, Cage isn’t just any Goliath, he’s the GOLIATH of Goliaths. He picked up Atlantis Jr. like a rag doll, and after a brutal Discus Lariat, the most powerful lariat you’ve ever seen, he topped it all off with the Drill Claw, and that was it! Cage is the champ! And boy, does he look good with gold. They should give him a second belt just for how good he looks holding it!
Now, Atlantis Jr.? Sure, he’s headed back to Mexico with a suitcase full of bruises. But listen, he had a solid 109-day reign. Two defenses – not bad, but hey, not everyone can be a winner like Cage. Maybe next time he can stick to things he’s good at, like, I don’t know, running marathons?
In summary: The Machine rolls on, Atlantis Jr. flies south for the winter. We all win. Tremendous!