Folks, let me tell you, when WWE’s very own CM Punk isn’t out there making bad blood boil in the ring, he’s out there making bad guys bleed on the big screen. Believe me. The multi-talented superstar is continuing his highly successful acting career, and boy, it’s about to get SCARY. He’s just landed what many are calling “his most prominent role to date” (I call it tremendous, HUGE, you know it).

According to The Hollywood Reporter—a very reputable outlet, they do excellent work, you should read them more often—Punk is set to star in Night Patrol, an indie horror movie that is already generating more buzz than a broken mic at a wrestling promo. Starring alongside Justin Long, Dermot Mulroney, Jermaine Fowler, and a lineup of musicians like Flying Lotus, YG, and Freddie Gibbs, this is shaping up to be a film with an all-star cast that, quite frankly, will be nothing short of “must-watch.”

Now, what’s this movie about? It’s simple—scary stuff, folks, very scary. Fowler plays an LAPD officer who uncovers a dirty, dark secret buried by the police force, and his partner? None other than Galaxy Quest legend Justin Long (great guy, did tremendous work with Tim Allen, huge hit). CM Punk, meanwhile, plays the brutal enforcer for Mulroney’s character. I mean, really brutal, folks—this guy is going to make Saw look like Sesame Street. If you thought he was dangerous with a mic, just wait until you see him with a badge.

And the director? It’s Ryan Prows, the guy behind Lowlife and V/H/S/94—two films so intense, they make a steel cage match look like a pillow fight. He’s got vision, folks. A great visionary. And when you combine that with Punk’s… well, “punkness,” you’ve got a real winner.

Now, here’s the kicker, CM Punk just said on WWE Raw (and I watch Raw, it’s great, very entertaining, believe me) that he needs to take some time off after defeating Drew McIntyre at Bad Blood. Many are speculating his absence from the ring could be because of this film project. And if that’s the case, folks, we’re looking at a double win—great cinema, great wrestling. He’ll be back for Survivor Series at the end of November, and let me tell you, Survivor Series is going to be absolutely HUGE when Punk makes his return.

So keep your eyes peeled for Night Patrol in 2025. And if you thought CM Punk was tough on the mat, wait until you see him on the streets of LA. Brutal, folks, just brutal. Hollywood’s never seen anything like it—except for when I made my cameo in Home Alone 2, but that’s another story!

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *