Folks, if you thought pro wrestling couldn’t get more absurd, AEW said, “Hold my folding chair.” QT Marshall, the self-proclaimed diss track dynamo of AEW, has taken aim at his Full Gear Zero Hour opponent, AJ the Costco Guy. And he’s doing it the only way a wrestling heel can—by remixing AJ’s viral Costco-themed anthem, “We Bring the Boom,” into a comedic rap masterpiece titled “We Bring the Doom.”

Let’s unpack this lyrical beatdown, shall we? Marshall, who is apparently more of a BJ’s Wholesale Club kind of guy (because of course he is), goes all-in on AJ’s bulk-buying ways. The most devastating line? “I never shop in bulk, it doesn’t give me a thrill / and I don’t buy paper towels because I never spill.” Devastating. Forget five-star matches—this feud is giving us five-star roasts.

To really drive the point home, Marshall flashes his BJ’s membership card like it’s a championship belt. Bold move, QT. But let’s be honest, nobody wins in a warehouse store loyalty war—except maybe the people saving $4 on a 96-pack of granola bars.

For those out of the loop, AJ, real name Andrew Befumo, is no ordinary Costco enthusiast. He’s an ex-indie wrestler turned real estate mogul turned viral content creator. His claim to fame? Producing Costco-themed comedy skits alongside his son, “Big Justice.” And now, thanks to the magic of wrestling, AJ’s trading the real estate game for ring ropes—if only for one night.

Whether AJ can channel his influencer energy into a match as entertaining as Logan Paul’s WWE performances remains to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: Zero Hour is about to get a lot weirder. Full Gear kicks off November 23, so buckle up. The Doom is coming, and it’s in bulk.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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