Wrestling fans, hold onto your spandex because the WWE Speed Women’s Championship is about to find its next contender—at the speed of molasses uphill in winter! WWE has unveiled the lineup for yet another number one contender’s tournament, which is somehow both thrilling and an endurance test for anyone with basic patience.

The Slow Burn of Speed

Candice LeRae, who became the first-ever WWE Speed Women’s Champion back in October by defeating IYO Sky in what we’re legally required to call a “high-speed showdown,” now awaits her first challenger. But she might want to pack a lunch (and dinner and breakfast). This tournament is set to air one match per week on X (formerly Twitter, currently confusing), meaning it could stretch into 2025. Because nothing screams “Speed” like waiting longer than an airport layover for the results.

Bracket Breakdown

Here’s the bracket, in case you’re taking notes for your fantasy league—or just need a reason to argue on Reddit:

  • Chelsea Green vs. Zelina Vega
    Set to air on November 27. Expect drama, shenanigans, and possibly Chelsea trying to recruit Zelina for TikTok antics mid-match.
  • Natalya vs. B-Fab
    This matchup is also happening Friday. Natalya’s “wrestling clinic” style clashes with B-Fab’s “let’s see what happens” energy. Chaos is likely.

On the other side:

  • Ivy Nile vs. Michin
    Ivy brings the Diamond Mine toughness, while Michin brings unpredictability. Winner takes all—or at least a chance to wait a month for their next match.
  • Alba Fyre vs. Katana Chance
    Fyre’s fiery offense faces Katana’s high-flying acrobatics. Will it end in a blaze of glory or a shocking upset? Yes.

Winners advance to a second round, and then presumably a finals match. Maybe by the time Christmas decorations come down, we’ll know who’s next for LeRae.

The Tournament Marathon Continues

This marks the eighth (!) tournament of the year for WWE Speed. At this point, “Speed” might as well stand for “Staggered Performance Evaluation Every December.” Out of all previous men’s contenders crowned via tournament, only two—Andrade and Dragon Lee—actually captured the title. Will the women’s side fare better? Or will the title shot be just a really fancy participation trophy?

Regardless, fans are buckling up for a long ride. Who will win? Who will wait the longest between matches? And will we ever figure out why a show called Speed moves slower than WrestleMania ticket queues?

Stay tuned to X, where the matches are slow, but the memes are fast.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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