In the high-stakes world of professional wrestling, some men write checks their bodies can’t cash, and then there’s Gabe Kidd. The NJPW STRONG Openweight Champion isn’t just writing checks—he’s opening a tab. Armed with a keyboard, highballs, and an unshakable belief that everyone else is inferior, Kidd lit up social media like it was his personal WrestleMania.
Taking to X (formerly known as the place where bad decisions get immortalized), Kidd kicked things off by calling out WWE legend Randy Orton. Not one for subtlety, Kidd’s message to Orton read like a text you send after your fifth whiskey:
“@RandyOrton WHAT YOU SAYING FAM. SPEAK TO YOUR BOSS AND COME FIGHT ME. YOU COULD NEVER DO WHAT I DO. IF YOU DISAGREE, COME DO SOMETHING.”
Translation: “I will fight you, Randy. Anywhere. Anytime. Also, tell Triple H I’m serious.”
But why stop there? Kidd then set his sights on WWE’s golden boy, the “American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes, reminding the world (and probably Cody himself) of a clean victory he holds over Rhodes from their WCPW days. Naturally, Kidd upped the ante by proposing a Tokyo Dome showdown for the WWE Undisputed Championship.
“@CodyRhodes I’VE BEAT YOU. CLEAN. IF YOU A REAL CHAMP, COME TO THE TOKYO DOME AND DEFEND THAT WWE TITLE AGAINST ME. WHAT YOU GOT TO LOSE, P*Y. LET’S CHANGE THE GAME.”**
Let’s face it, Kidd calling Cody a “p***y” while sipping cocktails is the energy we didn’t know wrestling needed. Somewhere, Dusty Rhodes is both shaking his head and chuckling.
And then came the pièce de résistance: Kidd called out AEW’s reigning devil, MJF. The context? A few too many highballs and what we can only assume was a karaoke session gone wrong. Kidd challenged MJF to a match on Long Island, knowing full well that even if MJF accepts, the odds of him getting cheered on his home turf are about as high as Kidd winning a popularity contest in Stamford.
A Busy January Ahead
Despite Kidd’s liquid courage-fueled challenges, he already has his hands full. On January 5, he faces none other than Kenny Omega at Wrestle Dynasty. Omega, returning from a year-long hiatus due to diverticulitis (a condition that sounds like a mid-boss in Final Fantasy), will no doubt be ready to remind Kidd why he’s one of the best in the world.
But let’s be real: Kidd might not even make it to Wrestle Dynasty if Orton, Rhodes, or MJF decide to respond. If they do, expect more highball-fueled challenges and even higher drama. Stay tuned, wrestling fans. This bar brawl is just getting started.