Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats (preferably ones that scream “80s glam”), because Jesse “The Body” Ventura is making another yuge return to WWE’s Saturday Night’s Main Event this weekend. That’s right, folks. The Frost Bank Center in San Antonio, Texas, is about to get a whole lot shinier, snarkier, and significantly more conspiracy-laden.
Posting on X (formerly known as “Twitter,” but let’s be honest, X sounds like it’s trying way too hard to be cool), Ventura teased his return with all the subtlety of a leg drop. “The Body returns to Texas this Saturday Night!” he wrote. This is Texas, where everything’s bigger—especially the personalities—and Ventura is bringing enough bravado to fill the Alamo.
Python Jackets and Commentary Chaos
Fans of Ventura’s last cameo in December still aren’t sure whether they were entertained, confused, or mildly concerned. During the event, “The Body” strutted out in a jacket he gleefully claimed was made from Jake “The Snake” Roberts’ infamous python, Damien. (PETA has entered the chat but wisely decided to log off.)
Ventura joined the commentary table with Michael Cole and Pat McAfee, forming a trio that sounded more like an eccentric uncle’s podcast than a wrestling broadcast. The result? A perfect blend of nostalgia, wild tangents, and McAfee trying to figure out whether Ventura was being serious or just living his best life.
This time around, Ventura’s role is a mystery. Will he commentate? Will he manage someone? Or will he just drop truth bombs about secret bunkers under the Frost Bank Center? (Not saying they’re there…but can we prove they aren’t?)
Stacked Card Featuring Champions, Contracts, and Chaos
While Ventura’s return will undoubtedly steal some headlines, the rest of the lineup for Saturday Night’s Main Event is equally juicy. Here’s a sneak peek:
- Cody Rhodes vs. Kevin Owens: A contract signing, moderated by Shawn Michaels, that promises at least one flipped table and a brawl that security definitely won’t stop in time.
- GUNTHER vs. Jey Uso: Can Jey step out of his tribal shadow and snatch the WWE World Heavyweight Championship? Or will GUNTHER remind him why he’s the human equivalent of a tank?
- Bron Breakker vs. Sheamus: Intercontinental Championship on the line. Expect this one to have more strikes than a bowling alley.
- Rhea Ripley vs. Nia Jax: A WWE Women’s World Championship match that will test the structural integrity of the ring.
- Braun Strowman vs. Jacob Fatu: Big men, big fight, and probably a very broken barricade.
Will “The Body” Steal the Show?
Ventura is known for his flamboyance and unpredictability, so his presence alone guarantees an extra layer of drama to an already action-packed event. Whether he’s throwing verbal jabs at McAfee or hyping up the crowd with stories from his wrestling and gubernatorial days, one thing’s for sure: San Antonio better be ready for “The Body.”