The go-home edition of WWE Raw ahead of the Royal Rumble featured the ultimate showdown in microphone gymnastics: Cody Rhodes, the WWE Champion, and CM Punk, the self-appointed “Voice of the Voiceless,” traded words so intense, fans at home likely checked if their TV remotes were on fire.
The scene was set after Sami Zayn accidentally gifted Rhodes a Helluva Kick in the post-match chaos against Drew McIntyre. The incident led to McIntyre and Kevin Owens sharing a chuckle, which, let’s be honest, was a rare moment of joy before the Royal Rumble tears their friendships to shreds. Zayn, clearly still auditioning for “Fast & Furious: Montreal Drift,” chased Owens backstage, leaving Rhodes alone in the ring to talk about his impending WWE title ladder match with Owens at the Rumble. Spoiler alert: That tranquility didn’t last.
Cue CM Punk.
Emerging to his iconic entrance theme, Punk strolled down to the ring with a swagger that screamed, “Yes, I’m here to ruin your vibe, Cody.” Punk, ever the master of passive-aggressive banter, subtly ripped Rhodes apart by reminding him of the totally relatable struggles of being WWE Champion—no friends, no family time, and constant threats of surprise superkicks. It was essentially a TED Talk on existential loneliness disguised as a promo.
But Cody, our bleached-haired beacon of optimism, wasn’t fazed. He shot back, questioning Punk’s intentions. Punk, never one to let the drama simmer, declared his intent to win the 2025 Royal Rumble and challenge Rhodes for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania. Because if there’s one thing Punk loves more than a pipe bomb, it’s rewriting his legacy.
Rhodes then delivered a subtle haymaker, reminding Punk that the tables have turned. “Now, you’re chasing me,” Cody said, with the calm confidence of a man who’s already planning his WrestleMania pyro budget.
The verbal battle ended with an intense staredown, the kind that makes you want to dim the lights in your living room for maximum dramatic effect. The camera cut out as fans were left screaming at their screens, “JUST THROW A PUNCH!”
With Punk officially in the Rumble alongside WWE’s who’s-who of champions past—including John Cena, Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre, and Rey Mysterio—this Sunday’s event is shaping up to be one for the ages. If Punk’s “career-long goal” of winning the Rumble is to be achieved, he’ll need to survive the equivalent of a human demolition derby.