Live from Glasgow – where the accents are thick and the boots come quicker than your morning coffee.
Lyra Valkyria, the airborne enigma with the Celtic cape, managed to hold onto her WWE Women’s Intercontinental Title despite a match that had more interference than a group text during nap time.
On one side: Raquel Rodriguez, a human boulder in boots, looking to claim double-gold status like it’s BOGO night at the championship store. On the other: Lyra Valkyria, still soaring off her solid title reign, despite what appeared to be a coordinated ambush from Team Shenanigans™, led by the always chaotic Liv Morgan.
The match started fair—strong offense, good sportsmanship, even a Bear Hug that lasted longer than some celebrity marriages. But then Liv Morgan, possibly upset that nobody bought her a ticket, stuck her nose in. After a DDT from Valkyria nearly sealed the deal, Morgan sneakily pulled a “this foot is totally touching the rope” maneuver on behalf of Rodriguez.
And yet—yet!—Valkyria would not be denied.
Rodriguez tried to go full Tijana Bomb on Valkyria, but Lyra pulled off a counter-roll-up so slick, scientists are still trying to measure the friction. 1-2-3. Still champ.
Post-match? Chaos buffet. Morgan stormed the ring like she left her phone charger in there. Rodriguez followed. But then—cue dramatic music—Bayley arrived like the backup you didn’t know you needed but definitely called on Find My Friends. Together, Valkyria and Bayley cleared the ring and struck a pose worthy of a magazine cover called “Wrestle Weekly: Don’t Try This At Home, Especially the Roll-Up.”
With this win, Valkyria notches her third successful defense in her 70-day reign, continuing her undefeated streak as the inaugural champ. Her next challenger? Unknown. But if they’re smart, they’ll bring a helmet and a Bayley.