Gunther, once the stoic Ring General, is now the Ring Unhinged, and Pat McAfee is officially the first commentator to need a rear naked choke recovery team after Raw.

Coming off his loss to Jey Uso at WrestleMania 41—a defeat sealed by the universal language of tapping out—Gunther arrived on Raw looking less like a former champion and more like a man in a permanent rage blackout.

The Vegas crowd, who had clearly graduated from the Petty University of Chanting, greeted him with a relentless “YOU TAPPED OUT!” chorus. Unable to strangle the crowd en masse (probably against company policy), Gunther locked eyes on the next best thing: the announce desk.

Michael Cole, seasoned announcer and longtime survivor of many bad ideas, tried to remain neutral. Gunther didn’t care. He got in Cole’s face like a man whose internet had just gone out mid-title defense. After dragging Cole toward the ring in an “HR violation waiting to happen” moment, McAfee stepped in—bravely, foolishly, or both.

He shoved Gunther.

Gunther responded with, “Cool. Nap time.”

One monstrous rear choke later, McAfee was eating canvas while Adam Pearce and 37 unnamed security guys tried and failed to pry the angry Austrian off him. Gunther only released the hold once he felt the point had been made—or when he remembered Raw isn’t Fight Club.

McAfee was helped to the back, likely muttering something about CTE and contract clauses, and Joe Tessitore was drafted in to fill the headset while Cole bravely returned to work and immediately began filing verbal HR complaints live on air.

Pearce, meanwhile, promised he’d “deal with it,” which in WWE speak usually means: “We’ll book the rematch next week.”

One thing’s for sure:
Gunther lost the title, but gained a felony’s worth of on-air assault footage.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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