Folks, if you thought Isla Dawn was going to disappear quietly into the void after her WWE release—think again. Instead of moping, she did what any self-respecting, theatrically inclined wrestler would do: she eulogized her own career like a goth Shakespearean protagonist.
Taking to X (formerly known as Twitter, but still just Twitter to all of us who refuse to acknowledge the name change), Dawn delivered a 90-second promo that was part funeral, part rebirth, and 100% iconic.
The video opened with soft piano music and Dawn lounging dramatically on a loveseat, because if you’re going to mourn your WWE persona, you might as well do it with flair. She acknowledged that people only seem to give compliments after someone is gone, then mockingly spit out some forced niceties before revealing that, while she didn’t deserve to be released, she needed it to reignite her passion.
“I was bleeding out; this was the pressure and the gauze,” she declared, before comparing her release to a near-death experience that ultimately revived her.
Then, in what can only be described as a funeral service for her former gimmicks, she bid farewell to the “White Witch,” the “Unholy Enchantress,” and even her reign as a two-time tag team champion—before pointing straight into the camera and making it clear:
“Don’t grieve for me. Isla Dawn is not dead yet.”
Chills. Absolute chills.
For now, Dawn is still under WWE’s 90-day non-compete clause, meaning she won’t officially be a free agent until early May. While she hasn’t revealed her next move, fans flocked to her post to show support—some even noting that she’s putting out better character work post-WWE than she ever did while under contract.
Where will the reborn Isla Dawn land next? That remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure—she’s far from finished.