Wednesday night’s AEW Dynamite continued the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament, and folks—we had ourselves a certified banger in the women’s bracket. Thunder Rosa and Kris Statlander threw down in a match that screamed, “Winner gets closer to the title, loser gets ice packs and existential reflection.”
With “Timeless” Toni Storm on commentary—wearing an expression that hovered somewhere between amused aristocrat and disinterested Bond villain—Statlander and Rosa went to war. Both competitors have been eyeing Storm’s AEW Women’s World Championship like raccoons fighting over a glittery snack, and only one could move on.
Rosa started strong, landing crisp strikes and dragging Statlander outside to hit a Meteora on the floor that made the commentary table collectively wince. During the break, Rosa kept control, even chopping Statlander directly in front of Toni Storm like, “You see this? This is foreplay. Championship foreplay.”
But Statlander wasn’t down for long. She returned from the commercial like a woman who just remembered her rent was due and Rosa owed her money. Back in the ring, they traded bombs—Rosa hit a slick Hurricanrana and Northern Lights Suplex combo, but Statlander responded with a Blue Thunder Bomb that could’ve cracked a sound barrier.
The final sequence? Absolute madness. Rosa hit a thrust kick followed by a Canadian Destroyer that looked so nasty even the ref gasped in Canadian. But Statlander popped up, dropped Rosa with a rude lariat, then hit the Staturday Night Fever to close the show and punch her ticket to the semi-finals.
And Toni Storm? She stood up and gave a round of applause so classy, it looked like she was judging a Wimbledon match. Translation: she sees Statlander coming… and might need a new plan for brunch.
Statlander now waits for the winner of Jamie Hayter vs. Billie Starkz on AEW Collision. And if Toni Storm isn’t sweating yet, she might want to keep the waterproof makeup handy.