You thought the WWE and UFC merger was just about brand synergy and shared media rights? Wrong. It was just the first domino in a Rube Goldberg machine of chaos that has now led us to the next frontier of head trauma-powered entertainment: Pro Wrestling meets Power Slap.
Yes, according to Fightful Select, a Power Slap season featuring pro wrestlers is officially in the works. That sound you hear is Jim Cornette combusting into a vapor cloud. This fusion of high-flying theatrics and open-hand violence was reportedly spearheaded by none other than Sinn Bodhi—a.k.a. Kizarny, the most confusing WWE gimmick of 2008, now reinvented as the Nick Fury of slap-based carnage.
Who’s Slapping Who?
Confirmed names allegedly lined up for a turn at CTE roulette include:
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Mecha Wolf (metallic mask = extra slap echo)
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Juicy Finau (name says it all)
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Facade (known for flips, now flinches)
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Dani Mo
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HollyHood Haley J (already sounds like a slap battle champ)
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Alice Crowley
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Christy Jaynes
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And the man who once haunted Lucha Underground’s nightmares: Marty “The Moth” Martinez
This isn’t your grandpappy’s slap fight. This is stage-slapping for clout, cash, and concussions, wrapped in neon lighting and livestream energy.
Why Would They Do This?
Great question! Apparently, the pay is “very good,” especially compared to indie wrestling’s typical pay (read: hot dog, handshake, and a “you killed it, bro”). Safety concerns? Allegedly discussed. Potential brain damage? Kind of shrugged off. But hey—Dana White is involved, so that guarantees… absolutely nothing except a press conference where someone says “Let’s goooooo.”
When and Where?
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International Fight Week: Nothing says “honoring martial arts” like two wrestlers smacking each other on YouTube.
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Saudi Arabia: Because when in doubt, slap globally.
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Additional dates: To be determined, presumably by a dartboard in Dana White’s office.
Coming Soon:
“Power Slap: Kayfabe K.O.”
Streaming on an app you forgot you downloaded.