In a shocking twist nobody saw coming—unless you had functioning ears and heard “someone from Christian Cage’s past”—the man, the myth, the human battering ram known as Rhino burst through the AEW curtain on Dynamite, straight out of Detroit and straight into what can only be described as a chaotic father-son-substitute-teacher showdown.
Yes, Nick Wayne—still legally a fetus in parts of Kentucky—retained the ROH World Television Title against the surprise challenger and walking Michigan landmark, Rhino. The big man may have looked like he wandered in from the last surviving ECW bingo hall, but once the bell rang, it was nostalgia versus nepotism, and the crowd was here for it.
Commentary gleefully reminded us that Rhino and Christian Cage were once “inseparable,” much like Christian and that turtleneck he wore during the Attitude Era. The audience was emotionally confused—cheering for the gore, gasping at the betrayal, and quietly Googling “Is Christian Cage okay??”
Rhino shrugged off Wayne’s offense like a man who once wrestled in barbed wire just to get to the bathroom. But then came the interference ballet: Kip Sabian hopped onto the apron like an unpaid intern, Cage tried to trip Rhino like it was 2003, but Rhino, bless him, did not fall. Not physically. Emotionally? Different story.
Despite Rhino’s resilience, Nick Wayne channeled his inner stepfather issues and hit the Killswitch to win. You know, Christian’s old finisher. Freud wept.
But the post-match drama was where the real Shakespeare happened: Cage, ever the proud maybe-dad/maybe-mentor/maybe-guy-who-forgot-which-brand-this-is, tried to strap the belt around Wayne’s waist… only to let it fall to the canvas. Just dropped it. Like a man who realized his son just beat his old tag partner and now he’s legally required to buy them both dinner.
Some say it was symbolic. Others say he just has butterfingers.
Either way, one thing’s clear: The Patriarchy is not just a faction. It’s a full-blown family counseling case waiting to be televised.