From sipping promos in sit-down interviews to sipping title gold in just three matches, Ricky Saints is now the new WWE NXT North American Champion—which is impressive, bold, and, according to The Culling, deeply offensive.

In what felt like a perfectly-timed redemption arc with a steel chair waiting in the wings, Saints—formerly known as Ricky Starks in the company-that-shall-not-be-named-unless-they-send-lawyers—defeated fellow AEW alumnus Shawn Spears in the main event of NXT. It was gold, glory, and then—bam!—gut-punched by karma in the form of Ethan Page.

Let’s rewind.

The match was made official after Spears interrupted Saints’ interview last week, presumably because he was allergic to charisma. Naturally, this led to violence. Spears brought backup in the form of The Culling—a faction made entirely of people who look like they got kicked out of a biker bar for overacting: Izzi Dame, Brooks Jensen, and Nico Vance. Saints responded the only way he knows how: by dragging Spears like a suitcase along the barricade with the swagger of a man who’s never lost a Twitter argument.

Then came the turn. During the picture-in-picture break (a safe space where villains live), Spears slammed Saints onto the steel steps, reasserting his evil credentials. Back from break, Saints summoned the power of the 90s with a top-rope jackhammer, nearly sealing the deal until Spears escaped outside. Saints chased him down with a tornado DDT, proving again that gravity is just a suggestion.

Then, it got messy: referee distracted, title belt smuggled in like a contraband burrito, Spears blasted Saints with the championship, and Saints still kicked out like a man fueled by spite and multivitamins. He then cleaned house—Jensen and Vance got folded like laundry—before hitting a spear and Roshambo combo to grab his first taste of NXT gold.

BUT OF COURSE—no celebration is safe in NXT.

As Saints posed with his new title, Ethan Page came in hot with the sneak attack, laying him out and holding the championship over his fallen body. That’s right. The belt barely had time to collect fingerprints before a new challenger showed up to smudge it.

The message? You may have won the title, Ricky—but in NXT, that just paints a bigger target on your back.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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