Stephanie Vaquer, the NXT Women’s Double Champion and part-time human punching bag, survived her first scheduled mauling of the week after narrowly escaping with her NXT Women’s Championship intact on Tuesday night. The match had everything: springboards, roll-ups, apron drama, and an afterparty featuring a three-on-one beatdown—classic NXT hospitality.

Her opponent, Jaida Parker, came into the match with the confidence of a woman who had just signed up for a Groupon Muay Thai class and watched a few highlight reels of Ronda Rousey. And honestly? It showed. Parker almost had the match won after hitting a seated senton that had Vaquer seeing lucha spirits. But before she could go for the pin, Parker got distracted by NXT’s very own Terminator, Jordynne Grace, who popped up on the apron looking like she just walked out of a CrossFit dungeon.

After a quick verbal spat—probably about who forgot to bring snacks to last week’s ambush—Parker turned around and got rolled up. Yes, friends. In a land of chaos, betrayal, and championship gold, it was the humble roll-up that secured Vaquer’s victory. God bless wrestling.

But just when you thought it was safe to gloat, Fatal Influence—Fallon Henley, Jacy Jayne, and Jazmyn Nyx—showed up like a Mean Girls reboot with steel chairs. They beat Vaquer down in a post-match ambush so brutal it made middle school dodgeball look polite. Jayne delivered multiple sentons while the others held her down, because nothing says “women’s empowerment” like synchronized gang violence.

And the kicker? Vaquer has to do it again tonight. She puts her NXT Women’s North American Championship on the line against Henley, who still hasn’t emotionally recovered from losing the title at Vengeance Day.

“La Primera” may have double gold, but after tonight, she might also have double concussions.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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