In a moment that screamed, “I’m not just playing chess, I am the board,” Stephanie Vaquer opened WWE NXT by casually giving up the Women’s North American Championship—but only if she gets to pick who she punches next. Incredible. Presidential, even.
Standing beside NXT GM Ava, Vaquer announced she would relinquish the title that only recently bent the laws of physics to hang on her other shoulder. Why? Because she’s gunning for bigger fish and has no time to hoard hardware like a Costco belt sale. Ava, possibly reading from a cue card labeled “CHAOS INCOMING,” declared that the now-vacant North American title will be contested in a six-woman ladder match at Stand & Deliver. Because obviously, when things fall apart, the best solution is more ladders.
But just when you thought Vaquer had dropped her mic and exited stage left, Jordynne Grace materialized with the kind of dramatic entrance music that makes you want to square up with your neighbor’s mailbox. She apologized (awkward), then reminded everyone Jaida Parker was “out of the picture,” meaning it was time to refocus on their upcoming title clash. To which the universe said: “Are you sure about that?”
Cue Jaida Parker storming out like a rejected Real Housewives audition tape, snapping back, “If I’m out of the picture, how am I standing right here?” (A fair point, though time will tell if she’s just photobombing her way into relevance.)
Vaquer—already spiritually checked out and halfway to a smoothie bar—bailed, leaving Grace and Parker to swing handbags and verbal barbs until WWE security came out like underpaid mall cops trying to stop a Black Friday brawl.