Folks, we live in historic times. Wars have been fought, civilizations have risen and fallen, but nothing in human history has prepared us for what happened at AEW Revolution Zero Hour:
- A Costco salesman and his son ran the show.
- A man named The Rizzler fully committed to cosplay.
- Adam DeVine and Tony Cavalero—yes, from “The Righteous Gemstones”—showed up because why not?
Big Boom AJ: Wrestling’s Most Powerful Bulk Buyer
Returning to AEW, Big Boom AJ teamed up with Orange Cassidy and Mark Briscoe against the formidable trio of Mansoor, Madden, and Johnny TV. But AJ wasn’t alone—because you don’t walk into a wrestling match without your kid, your crew, and a major membership card advantage. Accompanying him was his son, Big Justice, ready to cause a ruckus despite being half the height of the competition but twice as bold.
Meanwhile, The Rizzler entered the arena alongside Orange Cassidy, fully decked out in Cassidy’s signature denim-and-sunglasses look. Some say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Others say this was a sign that Orange Cassidy has officially ascended to “worshiped like a deity” status. Either way, The Rizzler committed 100%, meaning AEW fans got two Orange Cassidys for the price of one.
A Triple Powerbomb, Some Hollywood Cameos, and an Almost Child Abduction
This match had everything:
✅ A near-kidnapping attempt when Madden tried to lay hands on Big Justice.
✅ Powerhouse Hobbs making a surprise appearance, because you can never have too much destruction.
✅ Adam DeVine and Tony Cavalero showing up, proving that if your TV show gets canceled, AEW is always hiring.
The chaos reached its peak when Orange Cassidy, AJ, and Briscoe hit a Triple Powerbomb on Madden to seal the win for Team Costco & Co. The warehouse warriors stood victorious, with Big Boom AJ proving once again that sometimes, bulk purchasing beats TV fitness models.
QT Marshall vs. An Emmy Winner (and a Timekeeping Tragedy)
While AJ was out there stacking wins, QT Marshall was busy getting into a backstage scrap with Emmy-winner Paul Walter Hauser. Not to be outdone, The Rizzler also made his mark by taking over timekeeping duties, only to sustain a serious bell-ringing injury. That’s right—at Full Gear, Rizzler injured his hand by aggressively ringing the bell. The man fought the bell, and the bell won.
Meanwhile, Big Boom AJ’s foot injury from Full Gear didn’t stop him from returning with vengeance. Costco doesn’t just sell bulk groceries, folks. They sell determination.
Final Thoughts: What Did We Learn?
- Costco members win matches.
- The Rizzler is willing to die for the bit.
- If you mess with Big Justice, you get powerbombed into next week.
With AEW continuing to blur the line between pro wrestling and absolute insanity, one thing is clear: Membership has its privileges.